a favourite stranger

i wrote the entry last night, in my handphone spontaneously. this is exactly an unnecessary entry but i do feel to post it here and hoping i will read it with a broad smile in the next few years. this is part of me learning life.

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tonight, i am spending hours at my room balcony, searching for a star in the dark sky (which sadly there's none) with Yuna-Deeper Conversation keep repeating in my handphone.

"is your favourite colour blue?
do you always tell the truth?
do you believe in outer space?"


*sigh*


dear stranger,

only you can make deeper conversation with me. maybe deeper is not the exact word, i dont know. but i never feel how i feel towards our conversation when i have kind of same conversation with others, include my loved ones. it's like i could tell you everything yet i still feel safe here. i love the feeling i love it when i can always put my guard down with you and i dont have to worry how would it sound. i love to listen all your stories of your hopes, fears, dreams, everything deep inside you. i love it when i dont have to think whether all the stories are lies or not because it does not matter in this relationship (if we can call this as a relationship).

i love how you always made me feel that you are comfortable with my presence as a stranger.

like our usual joke, yes u did it well stranger. :)

and now, i wonder if there's anything would make a difference to the current situation and emotion? is it a meet up? i must say that i'm scared to think that i might not have this deeper conversation anymore with you once we meet up in a real world, the outer space from here. all this while i am learning you with your writing. i gave you my thoughts and emotion with words too. what will happen if we try for an actual conversation which involves eyes, facial expression, patting shoulder and physical impression? will i ever still be your favourite stranger in that other cruel outer space?

i wonder.